Don't dream it's over

I'm bored of this blog.

So now it's time for the truth. As many of you know this blog is not written by Bruce the 43 year old southern creep. It's written by Pink Panda.

I've had a great time offending and disturbing you all. Hope it's been as good for you as it has for me.

Growing up too fast!

Well! The other day I did get in a spot of trouble. It all started when I noticed my young daughter Shareika becoming a sexual creature. I started noticing that far from being an innocent child she was infact a woman. Someone who needed someone to control her.

We were walking down the main road, when who should I see, but one of my neighbours. He greeted me, and then started talking to Shareika. He didnt pay much attention to her face, but kept glancing down to appreciate the small rose buds they were obvious under Shareikas Tshirt.

I dont know if it was my imagination, but I could of sworn I saw the young nipples under her shirt harden ever so slightly. So I decked the pervert.

He's laying charges, and I'm in trouble. My ex-wife is furious, and Shareika is confused. I think I will send her to boarding school.

Brokeback Mountain - NOT A STEVE MARTIN FILM

I should have known. Who would hire a movie that didn't feature Steve Martin? I can tell you that it was a decision I regret.

Homosexuals, pre-marital sex, divorce and loose women all feature in this travesty of a movie. You wouldn't believe me unless you saw it for yourself. Seeing it for yourself is something I strongly advise against.

I was scared Gemini and Shareika would walk in while I was watching. Gemini is one of those children always up and down during the night. Homosexual daliances are something that no one, especially children should see. It's revolting. It's against nature. It should be outlawed. In my eyes in is a crime, not only against nature, but against God.

I wanted to get my moneys worth so I continued watching. This movie would have been a brilliant piece if it featured Steve Martin, because really, who are we kidding? Steve Martin in the nip is something we all want to see ;)

Anyway, if you want to watch a film that will make your skin crawl, and leave you feeling violated rent Brokeback Mountain. In all other instances Father of the Bride will do!

On a brighter note, the costuming and make-up were of the finest calibre!

Alcohol and smoke alarms

There is an article on the Herald website about a couple who almost died after sleeping through a smoke alarm. Luckily they are OK. It turns out that they were under the influence of alcohol and maybe even drugs when they slept through their alarms.

Perhaps it would be a form of natural selection if they were to die. If people out there are plying themselves with substances, and then coming home to leave the stove on before passing out, then dying in a fire sounds like the natural sequence of events. Of course the tax payer picks up the tab when the bill for their rescue arrives.

Nevertheless, I will be purchasing more smoke alarms! You never can be too careful.

A new movie... Shopgirl

I watched one of Steve Martin's new movies last night. It was called Shopgirl. I rented it thinking it would be one of Steve's tasteful romantic comedies, or a family movie which we could all enjoy, but boy was I in for a surprise!

It was great. It was based on a novella written by Steve Martin, and was also produced by Steve Martin! It even had high class actress Clare Danes in it. It was a bit intellectual, and I must admit, some parts of it were over my head!

Unfortunately the character played by Steve doesn't get the girl in the end. Any girl would be mad not to go for Steve, but hey, that's the movie I guess!

Oh dear!

Gemini's seventh birthday is coming up soon, and I'm in a bit of a pickle about what to do. She has her heart set on having a clown at her birthday, and keeps telling me about how much she'd love one. The problem is, I am absolutely petrified of clowns. They give me the heebie-jeebies!

I tried to tell Gemini that it would be really fun to have a few friends sleepover and to have a Steve Martin movie marathan, but she keeps talking about a party with a clown and crazy balloons.

I just don't know what to do. Even seeing clowns on TV makes me nervous. My palms start sweating, and I can't breathe properly. What a pickle!

Links

I've linked to some of my favourite blogs...

There's the very intelligent Mike Heine who writes "On the Right".... it's a good read. Well written, political with some personality too!

There's Red Confectionery which is always full of thought provoking posts, and a great place to find new blogs to read.

Another favourite of mine is one written by a very articulate young lady named Eleanor, which is called Cthulhu is Coming. I'm yet to have time to find out who or what Cthulhu is, but I will one of these days!

The left wing perspective can be found on Philisophically Made which is written by a group of left wing blokes....

Another blog which I have linked to is a vulgar young woman by the name of Gael. She writes extraordinarily well for someone who needs their mouth washed out with soap, but it's worth a visit! She does some great book reviews, and while it's always best to make your own opinion it's a great starting point to help you find a good book!

I've also linked to David Farrar... That one is pretty self explanatory!

Clint Heine is Mike's big brother, another good writer in the family it seems. The blog is more light-hearted than Mike's so if you're after something fun & intelligent swing by there!

Andrew Falloon and Tumeke are both also good reads, so have a look there too if you've got the time!

Anyway so those are the links! Explore them, and if there is anyone there that I haven't linked to let me know!

Women and their weight!

There is a great film out there called Real Women Have Curves. Now I've never been attracted to fat women, but a voluptuous woman really does turn my head.

Over on Red Confectionery Pamela makes an interesting post on Nicole Ritchie. Now until the other day, I had never heard of this female, but the post did spark my interest. Shareika tells me she is some sort of fashion icon for the young ones these days! And what a fashion icon she is! What sort of woman could fit into such skimpy clothing? Not a real woman, that's for sure.

I like to look at woman who are softer around the edges. A bit of cellulite has never turned me off. Large, child-bearing hips are there for a reason. Woman who embrace their natural curves are incredibly sexy. Let's celebrate today, and let woman celebrate their extra pounds.

Telly these days!

Shareika introduced me to a great show, and I must admit, I'm 100% addicted to it. Ghost Whisperer, which screens on TV2 at 8.30pm on Fridays, is a brilliant show. I've banned Shareika from watching it, as I think Jennifer Love Hewitt is a bad role model for a young girl, but boy do I love it!

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a very attractive young woman as well. Let's just say I wouldn't mind wooing her with a candle lit dinner and some fine wine.... fingers crossed we'd end up on a rug infront of the fire ;)

The subject matter of the show, witchcraft and witchery is not really inline with my Christian values, but I just cant peel my eyes away!

A post dedicated to Pamela from Red Confectionery

Today has definitely held some surprises! The young lady who writes Red Confectionery has written a post compiling some of my comments around various blogs. This attention was very surprising, but unfortunately not positive.

I would like to extend the olive branch to Pamela, and to show that I mean no hard feelings, I'm going to dedicate this post to her. Enjoy Pamela! :-)

This weekend has been both good and bad. I have made a whole heap of progress in my Steve Martin impersonation routine, which I must admit, is coming along quite nicely. I'm really happy with how the whole thing is coming along, and I've decided to make a DVD of it and send it to him! I hope he's impressed!

I was even called a misogynist! A quick visit to an online theasaurus cleared up what this meant. Now, I don't think anyone who knows me would ever call me a woman hater! My ex-wife and I had a very physical relationship, and I'm a member of multiple online dating sites.... No success yet, but I'll keep you posted!

Here's a photo of Shareika...

And one of Gemini....

Support Groups...

I attend a group called SPAT - single parents, alone, together. It's just a local thing, where we all get together and have a yarn about the kids over a cuppa. I go there to feel supported as a parent, and get tips on how to best bring up two girls.

The other night I got anything but this from the meeting. One of the women started talking about her ex-husband and how he was a real piece of work. Then all the women started. All talking about how they are not supported, and how men get away scott free. Well, I didn't get away scott free!

Women keep complaining, yet they keep the stereotypes going by blaming ex-husbands for everything, victimising themselves by acting as if they alone are responsible for the children, while at the same time not acknowledging that if they were really ready to be accountable for their actions they would admit that the fact they found themselves pregnant lies soley with themselves. Woman alone need to ensure that they are using contraceptive, and if they are not, they reap what they sow.

More politics!

I've been reading Mike Heine's blog tonight, and he generally comes off as a smart, but unmotivated bloke. He has written a post about public healthcare, and how he feels the reasons given for a socialist system don't cut it.

I disagree, even though I generally agree with the young chap. A private healthcare system places health as a commodity, high on the list of peoples priorities. As desireable commodities are usually appropriated by the affluent and influential, health (as existing in a private system) becomes something that the rich purchase and the poor hope for.

Generally, socialism is a bit of a joke, especially when used for things which aren't actually necessities, but it works for healthcare, and education.

What type of Cyborg is Steve?

Political stuff today!

I've been busy reading David Farrars blog today. It's an awfully good read. He does seem like a nice chap. There are quite a few good links there as well. At the moment I'm using his blog like a hub. I'm getting access to all sorts of good reading there.

David makes a fantastically thought out point about the Greens and who's likely to be elected as their new co-leader. Personally, I think they're all a pack of pot smokers, who have no right to sit in positions of power, but they're there, whether I like it or not.

What is Nandor doing in parliament, when he unashamedly admits to smoking Marajuana? I know other MPs break the law, but they have the good grace to at least pretend to be sorry for it. I think it's a travesty.

Rhodans 'The Thinker' ? YOU DECIDE!!!

Steve... He's so much more than just a great actor!

Children!!!

My children have been driving me up the wall! Gemini and Shereika have been fighting and screaming all weekend. I hired them a video from the dvd store, and Shereika says it's childish. If I hire something she wants, Gemini gets upset because she doesn't understand it!

Fabulous children, but they drive me crazy sometimes!

FUN FACTS ABOUT STEVE....

Steve Martin, Comedian / Writer
Born: 14 August 1945
Birthplace: Waco, Texas
Best Known As: Comic star of The Jerk and Father of the Bride

Why Steve Martin???

Let me introduce myself: My name is Bruce. I am 43, and live in a beautiful town in the South Island. I have two daughters, beautiful Gemini (who's six) and Shareika (who's twelve). I am a divorcee, with a lot of spare time on my hands. I recently had a wood logging accident where i lost feeling in one of my arms (making it a bit hard to type hah!). So, to cut a long story short, here I am on ACC, eight months down the track, trying out blogging.

I'm a political sort of bloke, I'd consider myself a central voter. The past election, I voted for Labour, but I was awfully close to voting for Don Brash, and God knows, I wish I had these days! One of my hobbies is Steve Martin. Anything Steve Martin, and I'll be there!

So this is just a place, for me, other Steve Martin fans, and other political types out there to come and have a natter. See you around for a cup of tea, and thanks for stopping by.